In Mattew 5:4 Jesus says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Grief and mourning are a pivotal part of restoration. It can involve an extensive and painful process of identifying and experiencing many losses. There is much to grieve because much has been taken from you: the loss of control over your own body, sometimes a loss of an entire childhood, the loss of not having had a protective or nurturing family or appropriate role models, and/or the loss of trust.
Grief might be ongoing, not just a step that is done and completed quickly, as victims face multiple losses they have suffered and are involved in the process of engaging grief as it emerges. Grieving outside of God’s redemptive work can be so overwhelming that it leaves no room for introspection and leads to despair. However, participating in God’s grief can be redemptive because you don’t have to deny or minimize what happened to you. Sorrow is embracing the sadness of losses that have grieved and angered the heart of God. Victims often fail to realize that God’s own sorrow for what has happened is deep and profound. Mourn. Grieve. Cry. God is grieved by and angry at what happened to you. He is even more grieved and angry than you are, so you are invited to participate with God in his grief and anger. (Justin and Lindsey Holcomb, Rid of My Disgrace, p. 61-62).