In fact, trying to avoid the godly resolution of conflicts just builds a dam between ourselves and others, allowing a reservoir of misunderstanding, bitterness, unforgiveness, and/or resentment to form. The dam eventually bursts, producing problems far more serious than ay we would have faced by dealing with our differences or concerns in the first place. In the meantime, as we keep shoring up the walls of the dam in a futile attempt to prevent them from bursting, our character becomes increasingly defined by our sinful attitudes. But none of these things need to happen if we will diligently employ God’s methods for avoiding and resolving conflict (Mickey Connolly, in C.J. Mahaney ed., Why Small Groups?, p. 65).