Victims Cannot Heal

September 19th, 2016 No Comments

I read this passage today and noticed that the king was talking with his young son and warning him against falling into grievous sin. He said,

My son, keep my words, And treasure my commands within you. Keep my commands and live, And my law as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” And call understanding your nearest kin, That they may keep you from the immoral woman, From the seductress who flatters with her words. (Proverbs 7:1–5)

In the following story (at the end of this post), the king watches a “simple” young man going to a place he shouldn’t have, being enticed by a woman he should have avoided and would have easily done so had he chosen to go down a different road. At the end of the day, the young man, fell to the whiles of the flirtatious woman. It was his fault. It was his responsibility. He was to blame for his sin. It’s all on him. That’s the main point of the story. The lad shouldn’t have gone there, done that. Now should he do? What can be done for him? He needs to confess his sin, and never go anywhere near that road again. read more…

One Sin Does Not Condemn A Person To Hell

September 15th, 2016 No Comments

I was recently asked a number of questions about comments that were made to an article about a pastor in the SBC pastor who had preached a sermon in response to his son’s revealing that he was gay. You can find the article here. My responses to the comments may have very little to do with the original article, at least not directly.

Comment #4: I need grace as much as any other person. So why would I ever single out the sin of another to condemn them?

I agree with this comment, on the face of it.

We need to remember a few things: First, God made us. He is God, we are not. We live and move and have our being in his realm and under his good pleasure. We exist for him, not he for us. We exist to make him glorious, to serve him, to worship and adore him, to lay down our lives for him, and to help one another to do this more effectively and more abundantly. read more…

No Way Up

September 7th, 2016 No Comments

I was recently asked a number of questions about comments that were made to an article about a pastor in the SBC pastor who had preached a sermon in response to his son’s revealing that he was gay. You can find the article here. My responses to the comments may have very little to do with the original article, at least not directly.

  1. A couple notes.

1: Jesus did not abolish the law but rather fulfilled it. Basically to keep it simple the idea is that by fulfilling it (living perfect) he became our passover. Then God’s grace covered us.

The law is still valid but we live in grace and not the law. The law is there to help us see sin.

 2: He didn’t give one command. He gave several.

What you are thinking about is him summarizing the law and prophets into two commandments.

“Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” ” -Matthew 22:37-40

And the idea there is that God (and his kingdom) should come first and second we should love everyone whether they are family, stranger, or enemy.

3: There is a danger in promoting “love” alone in the message of the Gospel. It is more than just “love” and more than just telling us to love each other. Going into just “love” is just as dangerous as those who use the OT law to condemn people. read more…

Judge Not

September 6th, 2016 No Comments

I was recently asked a number of questions about comments that were made to an article about a pastor in the SBC who had preached a sermon in response to his son’s revealing that he was gay. You can find the article here, though my responses to the comments may have very little to do with the original article, at least not directly.

Comment #1:  No sin is greater than any other unless it is suicide or blasphemy if I’m not mistaken. And I believe Jesus said, “he who is without sin cast the first stone.” I’m straight but I swear, drink alcohol, fight sometimes, watch porn etc. I don’t judge other peoples sins. I am a Christian. And I would like to point out that the way of thinking that I just described is not progressive. Puritans made many Christians think certain ways that they shouldn’t have. Well Puritans, Catholicism, and the entire Victorian age really. read more…

Daddy is Having a Difficult Time With his Anger

September 2nd, 2016 2 Comments

Hi Dr. Lawyer,

My husband is an angry man. When we hear his car in the driveway, after work, the whole home goes into combat mode. Everyone does everything they can to avoid contact with Dad because he is going to be in a “mood” and it isn’t a good thing to get in his way when he’s in a “mood.”

I’ve tried to talk with him about his anger issues, but he just tells me he isn’t angry and to stop provoking him. He thinks that if everyone would just do what they are supposed to do, everything would be fine. In fact, he thinks everything is fine. But it isn’t. Our home is a disaster.

The children are beginning to imitate him in how he deals with things he doesn’t like. Everyone, including me, is angry all the time. We yell, we shout, we hit one another and our oldest even punches holes in the walls. How do I tell the kids that their father is in sin without dishonoring him? How do I fix things?

I’ve heard that Christian wives are supposed to submit to our husbands, even when they are in sin. 1 Peter 3 is trotted out and given as a proof text for how to live in this kind of situation. Well, I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work. Nothing seems to work.


Nearly crushed wife read more…

Painting the Submarine Black

August 26th, 2016 2 Comments

Dear Pastor Mike,

How does something like this fit into God’s intricate plan for the world? How does the brutal death of this little girl build God’s Kingdom on Earth? If He doesn’t care enough about her to save her, then why should He care about any of us? Serious question.


Hi Serious,

Several answers popped into my head as I thought about answering your question.

I think it is a great question. It is pretty much the same question I ask God every other minute or two when I ask God how/why he took my wife away last June. What in the world was he thinking? Doesn’t he know if he had to take someone, he took the wrong one of us? And who said he needed to take anyone in my family? And what about all those people praying for her, couldn’t he have given any one of them a “yes, I’ll heal her” answer? Saying yes to any one of them would have saved her and given her back to me and our daughter. What in the world was he thinking? Who does he think he is? Is he really there at all? Does he really care?

I wonder if I think your question is a great question because it is a great question or if it is a great question because it is also my question and I think way too highly of myself.

To save my bacon, this is also the age old problem of evil in the world that philosophers and theologians have been asking for eons. How can there be a good, loving, and kind God in the universe, and still have evil? Either he doesn’t exist, he is impotent, or he is evil. There doesn’t seem to be any other answers. If he exists, is all powerful, and he is good, he wouldn’t/couldn’t allow evil to exist. So since evil clearly exists, he either isn’t there, isn’t all powerful, and/or he isn’t good.

It seems to make sense, but it is one of those things like in non-Euclidian geometry where lines can be parallel, but not be equidistant from one another all the way along the line. In a closed system things doesn’t operate the same way they do in an open system. The problem with the logic above is that it doesn’t take into consideration that God isn’t inside our creation, he is outside it. His ways are not our ways (Isa. 55:8-9).

The central problem is that we think we know everything, we are the center of everything. We think that what we know is everything there is to know and anything that doesn’t fit into our neatly crafted boxes either can’t be known, or is simply wrong.

We’re like the seaman on the submarine who is told to paint the top of the ship with black paint, but he has other ideas and thinks black is really boring. So, he paints the ship all sorts of wild colors. His commander comes by a few minutes later and yells at him for taking things into his own hands and not obeying the command. He is thrown into the brig for disobeying the orders. But what is wrong with painting the ship all sorts of pretty colors? The ship is a submarine, for pity sake. It goes way under the water, no one will ever see the pretty colors. Well, first, the ship is supposed to be invisible under water, even when it is near the surface. Second, black is more invisible than pretty colors. Third, the command was to paint it black. That’s what he was told to do. And fourth, the people in charge know much more about what is actually going on than the smart-aleck seaman. When they told him to paint the boat black, they knew the big picture, and had a plan for how they wanted things to go. The reason they wanted the ship painted black was much larger than the seaman could understand. All he needed to do to be a part of the larger picture, was to do his job.

Similarly, the Bible tells us that God is good (Psa. 136:1). It tells us that he is all knowing (Rom. 11:33-34). It tells us that God has a glorious plan for the future (Rom. 8:28). He even has a plan for each one of us that will work together for his glory and for ours as well (Rom. 8:28-30). So when we start with what the Bible tells us we see that even though we can’t understand what we are seeing around us, we can trust that God knows and has everything well in hand. I can praise him for including the death of my wife in his glorious plan. I can thank him for including my life in his plan. I can strive to do what I’ve been called to do with all my might, trusting and knowing that I am a part of a much larger and more glorious adventure than I have any understanding about.

But I’m talking about me and my precious wife. Now let me talk about a 10 year old girl who was horribly murdered. It is a highly emotional event. It is an incredibly evil event. It rips the emotions right out of the chest and makes the observers really really angry. And our outrage, our rage, our shouts of revenge and justice are fully justified. But are they justified when they are leveled at God?

If we get rid of the emotion, and view the events in a Biblical way, we come up with a very different answer. First, the adults involved were vile and terribly sinful. But the Bible tells us how to handle these kinds of people (Num. 35:30). The Bible also tells us that even if the authorities don’t do what God tells them to do, that God is a righteous judge and the evil doers will not escape (Rom. 12:9). The Bible also tells us that God has a plan for the fact of evil (Rom. 9). Therefore, on the side of the evil done, God and the Bible has answers.

But no one is having problems with this part. Of course God will deal with evil in this way. The question is, why didn’t God stop the evil in the first place? I think the answer is the same answer I have for my dead wife. On one hand, I don’t know. On the other hand, God is good, faithful, just, loving, kind, and he has a plan. I don’t know what his specific plan is, but I know he has one. I don’t know why he didn’t step in and save the girl, but I do know God and I know he has his reasons. And they are way bigger than I am.

There are two other thoughts that popped into my head when I read your question. First, as I said, this is a good question—at least asked in the right way and in the right context; which what I assumed and why I answered you. But in another context, it can be an evil question. To question God without submitting to him as God is to stand in judgment over him. It is to say, “This happened, who do you think you are not to step in and stop this?” Or “I am the center of the universe and I demand that you do what I think you ought to do, and if not, I demand that you answer me and justify yourself.” God is God and we are not. To talk like this to God is a very dangerous thing. I think we should ask God things like this, but we need to remember, at some point, who we are talking to. If not, things will go very badly for us.

Second, to notice that this sort of event is evil shows that God exists and is good. If there is no God, there are no absolutes. If there are no absolutes, then everything is relative. If everything is relative and there are no absolutes, then nothing can have an absolute value; nothing right, nothing wrong. If there is no God, or if he is not good, what those people did to that little girl is neither here nor there. They did nothing wrong. If God doesn’t exist we can make no criticism about what they did. The fact that everyone reacts in the same way shows that God does exist. And it is right for us to make that judgement. And because he exists, we must deal with the whole thing the way he prescribes in the Bible. If we don’t, we become our own kind of evil.

Of course, we can take a vote on this and other kinds of behaviors and decide as a people that it was evil. Secularists think this is what they are doing, but when they make laws based on what we think is evil, everything settles down to the lowest common morality. Because we are all born in Adam (1 Cor. 15:22), we are sinners and we want to sin, thus we do sin and are constantly trying to justify our sin. This means that what we considered the standard for good and evil yesterday, is being pushed downward today. What was thought of as evil 50 years ago, is often taken for granted today. For example, whores existed then, but today the kind of behavior that would have landed that title on someone is so common that the word has no real meaning. And none of this means that we are becoming “enlightened.” It means that we are falling further and further into debauchery and evil. The evil that was perpetrated on that little girl is simply at the nasty end of the bell curve that describes our declining and rebelling society. The Bible says, “Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight!” (Isaiah 5:20–21). Our culture is not the immediate audience for this passage, but it certainly needs to listen to the principle.

So to answer your question, I don’t know. I know God is good, he has a plan, it involves us, and it is glorious, and what happened to that little girl is part of that plan in the same way that the death of my wife is part of the plan.

I also know that you need to come to Christ and ask the question from inside his family instead of as a challenge to his existence and goodness.

I hope this helps.

Eileen’s Memorial Service

July 8th, 2016 2 Comments

I thought some might like to see Eileen’s Memorial Service. She was a wonderful and godly woman. Her faith was very childlike. He said it, she believed it, that was all she needed.

“Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Mt. 18:2-4).

You can find the video here.

Eileen’s Graveside Service

July 8th, 2016 Comments Off on Eileen’s Graveside Service

I thought folks might like to see the video that Daniel Foucachon took of Eileen’s Graveside Service. You can find it here.

Eileen’s Relationship to God

June 13th, 2016 1 Comment

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While going through the process of divorce, my mental, emotional, and physical well-being hit absolute rock bottom. One night the realization that my life was in a downward spiral hit me hard—so hard that in my fear of the future and dismay of my past I cried out to God to help me. This cry to God, in itself, may not sound surprising; but I had never truly acknowledged him in my life. I had always done exactly what I wanted whenever I wanted, with no thought of our Creator. I don’t know why I cried out to him that night or why it occurred to me to do so. But the moment I did, I knew something had changed within me. A calm washed over me, soothing my tears and allowing me to breathe regularly enough to finally fall asleep. On that evening, I was given a yearning to learn more about God, both who he was and why he was significant. Three weeks later I attended Easter service with a Christian friend. This was my first time in a church service in close to fifteen years. Over the course of the next six months, I became absorbed with  learning and trained myself to be someone who lived for Jesus. My lifelong habits were changing, as was my outlook on life. There was no specific date I can point to to say, “This is when I became a Christian.” It was a growing process over the course of several months, a process which produced a woman who is thankful for her rescue from her sins, and for the promise of a future with Jesus.

That was 26 years ago. Since then, Eileen married Mike, bore Rachel, and helped with various ministries and church plants. She played guitar in churches that needed help with the music. She organized events, taught women’s bible studies, assisted in the counseling ministry, and cooked and delivered meals. She made our home a center of hospitality, and dedicated of her time to needs both within and outside the church.

Eileen’s most prominent attribute was that she loved Jesus with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength. This was clearly displayed by her consistent joy and infectious cheerfulness. She loved God, and she loved those he put in her path.

Eileen’s Obituary

June 13th, 2016 1 Comment


Eileen Ann (Murphy) Lawyer was born Dec. 2, 1960, in Los Angeles, Calif. She graduated from Pacific Palisades High School in 1979. She also graduated from Humboldt State University with a BA degree in anthropology with an emphasis in physical anthropology. And she graduated to glory June 2, 2016, at her Moscow home surrounded by family and friends.

Besides living in various places in California, she also lived in Colorado, the Republic of the Marshall Islands, Missouri, Washington and Idaho.

Eileen was the treasured wife of Mike Lawyer for 23 years, married in Eureka, Calif., on May 1, 1993.

As a member of Christ Church in Moscow, Eileen strove to glorify God by loving everyone she came into contact with. As a pastor’s wife, she gave wise and godly counsel to those who were suffering. She provided meals for those in need; she prayed for the sick and dying; she was hospitable to those who needed a meal or a place to stay. Most of all, Eileen was an incredible helpmeet to her husband, and wonderful mother to their daughter. Eileen was a true Proverbs 31 woman.

Eileen won the race to glory before her husband, Mike, and her daughter, Rachel. They survive along with brothers, Dennis (Mary-Ellen) Murphy in Alaska, Tom (Carolyn) Murphy, and Don (Linda) Murphy; her sister, Kathleen (Dennis) Willett; and her parents, Jack and Geraldine Murphy, all in California.

A graveside service were held at the Moscow Cemetery at 10 a.m. Friday, June 10, 2016, followed by a memorial service at 11:30 a.m. at the Moscow Church of the Nazarene. A reception will be afterward in the church fellowship hall.

If anyone would like to make a memorial donation, please give to The Center for Biblical Counseling, PO Box 8741, Moscow, ID 83843.


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